If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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