If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
