I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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