I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
