pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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