Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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