oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
