walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
