did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
being pregnant is like rehab
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize