She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
