drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Its about making memories worth repressing
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize