The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
