turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
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