Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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