Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
