Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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