I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
