cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
