Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
