Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize