What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
