Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
