i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
