Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Randomize