Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Randomize
