it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
