so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
