Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
