I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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