don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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