jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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