ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
