There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Sext me about skeletons
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
