I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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