worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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