i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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