pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
