I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize