Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize