when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she smelled like a LAN party
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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