We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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