She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
