Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
