Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
