im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
