Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
