I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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