Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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