sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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