I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
