How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
