we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
