Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
