belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
