I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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