saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize