Are we in a gay sports bar?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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