its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
