Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
