do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
