so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Still dying that you shit outside
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
