I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he thought i was a dude.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
